Honoring National Military Marriage Day (MMD)
For Military Veterans and Spouses—This is for You.
I didn’t want this military marriage anymore. I was tired, lonely, betrayed, and left behind. But at the same time, I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. I was stuck in a huge dilemma—unsure how to fix things or where to turn for help. Somewhere along the way, I realized I genuinely wanted to know his experience, to understand what made him so angry and hurt. But every attempt to draw close was met with resistance. Too many mistakes had been made from the beginning, when we were just 17 and 19, too young to understand how those early choices would create barriers that lasted decades.
Healing only began when I started listening to others—veterans and spouses who bravely shared their stories. In them, I found a connection, a shared pain. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel alone.
Each military service member carries a unique story, shaped by the battlefields they’ve faced. These stories, full of courage and sacrifice, leave lasting imprints on their lives—and ours as their spouses. Over time, I’ve come to understand that part of the healing process lies in sharing these stories, in allowing our community to bear witness to them. In this blog, I’ll explore the importance of standing in that difficult middle ground, supporting our loved ones, and finding solace in the faith that sustains us.
The Power of Connection
When I met a service member responsible for rescuing injured comrades during war, I was struck by the depth of pain in his eyes. Words alone couldn’t capture it. In that moment, I made it my mission to let him know his suffering wasn’t invisible to me. I wanted to bridge the gap between who he had become in the chaos of war and who he used to be. This middle ground, where we confront the true struggles of our loved ones, is where healing begins. As military families, it’s crucial to understand that to find renewed purpose, we must invite others to stand with us in that space.
The Journey of Standing in the Gap
During our conversation, I shared my own journey with my husband—our commitment to standing in the gap for each other. The service member expressed his deep longing for his wife to understand his pain, to truly empathize. I reminded him that my strength to stand in the gap didn’t come from me alone. It began when God revealed to me that His love for my husband was far greater than anything I could comprehend. This revelation opened my heart, guiding me back to my husband and, eventually, to others who find themselves fighting battles alone in that middle space.
The Selflessness and Courage of Support
Supporting our spouses, friends, and family members who’ve endured war or trauma demands immense selflessness. It’s not about us—it’s about them. Standing in the gap requires courage and a commitment beyond what we can imagine. The journey is long and hard, but along the way, there is joy in witnessing healing and peace in seeking God’s guidance.
As military families, we have the power to facilitate healing by standing in the middle ground—listening, empathizing, and offering unwavering support. Through shared experiences and faith, we can bridge the gap between the war-torn realities of our loved ones and their journey toward renewed purpose. Let’s embrace the commitment to stand alongside them, knowing that while the journey is challenging, the rewards of healing and renewed purpose are immeasurable.
Together, we can make a difference in the lives of those who have sacrificed so much for our nation.
With LOVE,
Emma Martin
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